June 2011
1 post
April 2011
1 post
pdunphy:
March 2011
12 posts
February 2011
11 posts
January 2011
15 posts
Beach Games
dailyoffice:
Michael Scott:Who’s ahead in points?
Pam Beesly:I think they’re even. At various times you gave Jim, 10 points, Dwight, a gold star and Stanley, a thumbs-up. And I don’t really know how to compare those units.
Michael Scott:Well check to see if there’s a conversion chart in that notebook.
Pam Beesly:I really doubt it Michael.
Michael Scott:Please just check.
He-who-must-not-be-named
Jim Halpert: Okay. We will be Voldemort.
Dwight Schrute: He-who-must-not-be-named? I wouldn't do that.
Jim Halpert: [chanting with team] Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort! Vol-de-mort--
Dwight Schrute: Ok, seriously. You really shouldn't be saying that. Please, please, please.
Schrute Bucks
dailyoffice:
Dwight Schrute:We— Don’t you wanna earn Schrute Bucks!?
Stanley:No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight Schrute:What’s the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?
Stanley:The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
Back of the bus
Michael Scott: If you don't like it Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus.
Stanley: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: Or the front of the bus, or drive the bus.
All Lifestyles
Realtor: Are we ready to sign some papers?
Dwight Schrute: Actually, no. We have a couple of questions, uh, about the neighborhood?
Bill: It's, it's very safe, it's very clean. Also, it's very accepting of all lifestyles.
Realtor: It's a very gay friendly neighborhood.
Michael Scott: Oh. Good. That's good. It's good to be accommodating of... that.
Dwight Schrute: [to Michael] Let's go check out the master bedroom.
Shun on
Dwight Schrute: Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim Halpert: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim Halpert: Dwight says that he doesn't actually know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight Schrute: Okay. No. Jim tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. Jim! Tell him!
Depression
Dwight Schrute: Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything is wrong, Dwight. The stress of my modern office has made me depressed.
Dwight Schrute: Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling, 'bummed down?'
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut!
That's what Christmas is all about
Kevin: But what are we gonna do with this hacked off part?
Michael Scott: Well, that is a perfectly good mini-tree, Kevin. And we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about.
December 2010
20 posts
